


Lessons of Time

by Steph_Winchester



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-21
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:28:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22351774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Steph_Winchester/pseuds/Steph_Winchester
Summary: Time gives you perspective ... sickness does too.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester - Relationship
Kudos: 3





	Lessons of Time

It had been a long exhausting week at work for both of them. Cass has just finished an incredible photoshoot, his husband was getting more and more successful by the minute but who wouldn´t see how wonderful he was? Dean was in love with his imagination and inventive. He had been finishing a set of wonderful cars for a show, he had a 73 Ford Ranchero painted in fire red, sleek and powerful, a 70 Chevrolet El camino that they restored from scratch and a 63 Mercury Cyclone painted in metallic blue. They ended up perfect and Dean was quite sure he would sell them for a shiton of money. On top of that, Cass has taken some pictures with the cars and some models for promotional posters and dam they were so amazing… as all the photography Cass did.  
However, when Saturday came he was home with Cass, snuggled in the couch together in their pajamas and reflecting of the difficult week.   
“I am quite happy this week is over” Cass said  
“The photoshoot looks wonderful, you did a great job, relax” Dean said  
“Yeah, but it sucked to be away from you” Cass said snuggling even closer.  
“I know. It did suck” Dean kissed his husband´s temple “Love you”  
“Love you back” Cass answered but before he could say anything else Dean´s phone rang furiously over the kitchen table. They had to untangle themselves so Dean could reach it.  
“Hi mom” Said Dean and suddenly frowned, Cass sat up and looked at him “wow mom… did they say if he was going to make it?” another silence “How about Sarah?” Dean sighted and rubbed his temple “Karma is a bitch” Dean says acidly “Sorry mom…. I will stop by and see how the thing is for real, you shouldn´t be worrying about this. I will call you later” Dean finished the Call and looked at Cass who was looking back at him worriedly  
“What happened babe?” he asked  
“Dad is in the hospital, the hospital called mom, apparently she is still listed as dad Emergency contact…”  
“What happened?” Cass asked  
“Well it seems he needed a minor surgery and there were complications. He has been in the ICU for days, Sarah was there at the beginning but apparently she bailed on him and the hospital called mom” Cass shook his head in disbelief  
“Your dad… he brought this upon himself… that woman is just a superficial idiot with a love for money” Cass hugged Dean “Sorry I know it is you dad but I am not his biggest fan… we should go check on him… he shouldn´t be alone anyway”  
“I don´t know babe….” Dean and his dad had a horrible relationship but still called him every weeks to see how he was.  
“Trust me, we need to do this” said Cass  
“We?” asked Dean looking at Cass worried  
“I am going with you, don´t ever consider it otherwise” he said kissing Dean´s cheek  
“Thanks babe” Dean whispered relieved. Cass had all the reasons in the world to hate his dad but he was coming with him to support him despite it all. He was wonderful

Dean arrived to the hospital and after identifying himself as his son, he was allowed to see John. Cass went alongside him. Dean felt his resolution shatter when he saw John hocked up to all those cables, tubes and sensors.   
“He had a minor clog in an artery, he came here for a stent and he suffered a massive aneurysm, he did all we could to stabilize him, his situation is delicate as we tried to explain to his wife”  
“Sarah is not his wife, she is or was his girlfriend” Dean said sharply  
“Sorry. She came for a couple of days and when the condition worsened she disappeared that is why we had to dig his ER contact, Mary Winchester”  
“My mother”  
“Well if your parents are divorced and he is not married to the other one… that will make you the next of kin and you will have to take all the medical decisions from now on”  
“What? Me?” Dean asked incredulously   
“I am afraid so. The first one is consent for another surgery. We might be able to alleviate his intracranial pressure with a minor intervention but in his condition it is quite risky” The doctor said “If we don´t do this, his brain function will be severely damaged, but in his condition there is only a 75% chance he will hold on through surgery of any kind”  
“Do it” Dean said   
“Alright, I will schedule the intervention” the doctor left them alone in the room with John and his machines.  
“I need to call Sam” said Dean  
“Go do it, I will be here” said Cass reassuring him

Sam agreed to travel back home to help Dean. Dean had Cass to back him up as always but still he needed his brother. It took John one week and a half to regain consciousness. When he opened his eyes he realized he was in a hospital and that he was not alone but to his surprise it was not his girlfriend who he saw there sitting by his bed, not his ex-wife Mary or his kids… it was Castiel … Dean´s boyf… that man his son was sleeping with, the reason Dean was gay.  
“Mr. Winchester?” Castiel asked “John can you hear me? I am going to call the nurse, don´t worry” he said leaving the room. A minute later nurses and doctors came to inspect his health. Castiel was in the corridor on the phone. Dean arrived 15 minutes later.  
“Hey dad” said Dean. John wanted to say something but he couldn´t “Can he understand me?” he asked the doctor  
“He can but as far as we know he can´t communicate with us verbally, there is still some brain swelling and it might be impeding his speech, John, I don´t think this will be a long term problem, it will gradually get better. Otherwise you have your left side with loss of sensitivity and movement due to the stroke you suffered during the surgery” John frowned and looked at Dean and the doctor. He wondered where his girlfriend was. He pointed to a paper. The doctor gave him pen and paper.   
“How long have I been here?” he wrote  
“A month and a half John” said the doctor  
“Where is Sarah?” he wrote again. The doctor looked at Dean   
“She is gone, she bailed on you after the aneurysm” Dean said carefully. John opened his eyes with surprise and then looked hurt. Cass felt sorry for the man, in his 50s he obviously thought he could find love again with that bimbo… and it backfired as everybody else had seen coming. Everyone but John himself.  
After five days in the hospital and a carefully medication schedule and physical and speech therapy appointments, John was ready to be discharged from the hospital. He heard them all talk but he couldn’t ask… he wrote in his pad “Where to? Can´t be alone?”  
“No, dad, don´t worry. You just focus on getting better” said Sam with a weird look in his face. He definitely didn´t know what to expect. Was Sarah back?  
Dean and Sam were there, also Castiel. The walked along his wheelchair to the main door. Dean rushed to get the car. Sam helped him from the chair to the car and Castiel helped with the seatbelt. They all got in the car and Dean drove silently. He could see Dean looking nervous at the rear mirror at his dad. And the car finally stopped in front of a simple two story house with a lovely garden at the front. Dean sighted loudly.  
“Guys can you go get the wheelchair I would like to have a minute with dad” said Dean and both Castiel and Sam looked at him with worry but did as he had asked. John looked at Dean confused.  
“Dad this is our house. You will be staying with us until you get well enough to go back home by yourself” Dean Gabe him his pad and pen. John wrote. “Castiel”  
“Yes dad, This is Cass´s home too. He is my husband, you didn´t attend but there was a great wedding and some papers signed. Husbands till death do us part”  
“Don´t like him” wrote john  
“Bullshit, you never gave him a chance because according to you, he made me gay. I was gay, I am gay and I will be gay, Cass makes me happy. Grow up” said Dean harshly and then he took a deep breath and added “Listen, after everything you said about him, if I was Cass I would let you rot on the streets. But my husband if a fucking angel, he suggested we should help you through this and this means that I am doing this as long as, you don´t make him miserable. The minute you cross the line with Cass, you are on your own. God knows I had given you all the opportunities you deserve and more. Thread carefully”  
John threw the pad in rage and looked away from Dean, towards the house where Cass and Sam where approaching with a wheelchair. Dean and Cass had conditioned their first floor guestroom with a special bed and space for his wheelchair. They also had stopped by his apartment and recovered clothes and books. His phone and other important stuff.  
Castiel said he was going to cook something for dinner and disappeared from the room asap while Dean accommodated John and Sam tried to get some positivity into his dad´s mind. Castiel had prepared soup and John was hungry so he ate it, it was really good. So what? They gay asshole could cook. Two days later, Sam flew back to California to his wife and kids. He was a professor at Standford and couldn´t take all the time away he wanted in the middle of the semester. Suddenly it was just him, his son that hated him and the asshole that had stolen him away from his father. Great.  
Dean usually woke up early with Cass and did some stupid Yoga, John never even considered his own son could be like that … all hippy and soft … definitely not how he raised his boys to be!.  
Dean went to work early everyday and Cass volunteered to drive John to physical and speech therapy on his way to the studio, John hated the man, his hybrid shinny car, his soft manners and perfect polished education … he didn´t even know if the guy could fart! Asshole.  
Dean would pick him up and head home for lunch just the two of them, sometimes Castiel joined them but John usually made a point to make sure it would have been better without Castiel in the picture, let´s see is Dean could get the point.  
It took him two weeks to start talking. Walking was progressing faster but fine motions with his hand were complicated, luckily he was right-handed so at least he could eat, write and swipe his own ass. He notices that every time he entered the room, Dean and Castiel moved away from each other, both looking miserable. Ja! He was cockbloking them hurrah!   
He hasn´t exchanged a non-mandatory word with Castiel for two weeks despite the guys had been nothing but incredibly accommodating, one day Castiel had driven him to a doctor appointment, the doctor asked him to stay with John because it was usually better for the patient to have family with him, John told the doctor that Castiel was not his family and he had seen a flash of deep hurt in the guys face, Victory! The test was horrible and he felt nauseous, Cass was waiting outside, he wheeled him out and helped him get in the car and drove him home. Cass even helped him into bed and prepared him some tea in case he felt nauseous again. Two days later the doctor called them back in for the results and John was given difficult news, his brain swelling was not going down as expected and it might be possible that he would never regain some of his normal functions, there was high chance he would never be able to walk by himself again. John took it hard, Cass silently took him home and sat with him on the couch.   
“John, I know it might feel like the end of the world, but the doctor said it was not 100% sure and I have seen physical therapy work miracles, I wouldn´t give up if I were you. But even it if came to the worse, Dean would always be there for you” said Castiel   
“So I am just going to live here with you two forever…” said John bitterly  
“Yeah … not with us two, I am sure Dean would always let you stay with him, I on the other side…. I don´t think I can live under the same roof as you too much longer John” said Castiel  
“So you will make my son kick me out! Just like that?” said John  
“You are a complete asshole… what is so wrong about me John? I am a good person. I am a good person- the second time Cass said it the tears exploded and he got mad- you know my… my family was horrible to me when I came out. I was just 16 and the kick me out on the streets. Fucking 16 John I lived under a bridge while I attended high school. I got a scholarship, I got into the University and got a roof to fall under. I rebuilt myself from nowhere and then I met Dean. And he was so amazing, we fell in love so easily but he was still partially closeted … actually you were the only one that didn´t knew. He knew you would take it bad but he never thought you will hold the resentment for ever. He was deeply hurt when you refused to attend the wedding, I haven´t seen him so sad in a long time. Still he calls every weekend to check on you, even if you end up exchanging harsh words.  
“It is all your fault! You opened this breach between us…” said John  
“Bullshit, that breach was already there… why do you think your own son was afraid of letting you know something so important like the fact he had someone in his life? He knew you would put your ideas before his feelings” said Cass back “And you did, you told him he was only welcomed in your house if I was not tagging along for Sunday lunch, so he stopped attending despite I told him that it was ok, that I would stay home…” John looked at Cass with confusion  
“He didn´t want to come?” he asked  
“Well, would he have done that to Mary?” Cass asked  
“no” he said harshly. He hated the bastard for being right!  
“Here you go” said Cass “Listen, I know you hate everything that I represent and honestly when I got together with Dean and I met Sam and Jess, When I met Bobby and Ellen and Jo… I felt like I was being welcomed into a loving family. Since I was 16 I had no family to talk to, to rely on… and I hoped that you … it doesn´t matter” Cass stayed quiet and John could feel his sadness.   
“What if this is permanent?” asked John “Will you make Dean choose between you and me?”  
“I don´t know if I can continue living like this… the way you make me feel unwelcome in my own house…” Cass said nothing for a while and just sat there looking at his own hands “Will you be alright here for a while?”  
“Sure… where are you going?” asked John suddenly a little concerned.  
“I need to go out and get some air, I will be back in a while” said Cass sadly leaving the house.

John sat there, thinking about what had just happened, he hadn´t exchanged more that 2 words with Castiel before and this conversation had been full of information. Dean wanted his father to accept his husband, he felt John was disrespecting him when he had made clear he was not part of the family. On the other side, what Castiel had said about his parents … he would have never kicked Dean out at 16 just for being gay right? Right? …. He had been lost in his mind for hours when he realized it was getting dark and Castiel hadn´t returned. He took the phone out of his poket.  
“Call Castiel” the phone dialled the number and it gave tone over and over but nobody picked the phone. “Call Castiel” he said again. After 6 tries along 30 minutes. He started to worry. “Call Dean”  
“Hey dad is everything alright?” answered Dean  
“Hey Dean, listen is Castiel there with you?” he asked  
“No, why would he be here?” he asked.  
“Well when we came back from the doctor we left, he said he needed some air and that he would be back soon but it has been hours and it is getting dark, I called him many times and he didn´t answer…” he said “I don´t want to worry you but this is not like a think Castiel would do…” he said  
“You are right, it is estrange. I will call him and as soon as I get hold of him I will call you back ok? Are alright over there?” he asked  
“Yes, fine, find Castiel it is getting dark” he said. He was genuinely worried for the sensible dorky man.

Another half hour passed and suddenly somebody entered the house. It was Jo and Ellen.  
“Hey John, Dean sent us” she said sadly  
“Did he find Castiel?” he asked wary of the answer he would get. Hurt in their eyes told him he was right.   
“He is in the hospital” Ellen said  
“What happened?” he asked feeling his chest hurt  
“He was hit by a car and taken out the road. The car hit some trees and he is badly injured” she said  
“But he will make it right?” he asked  
“They don´t know. Dean is at the hospital” Jo said  
“Alone? He shouldn´t be alone” he said  
“Bobby is with him, Dean called him” she said  
“Can you help me go to the bathroom and then drive me to the hospital?” said John. Ellen looked at him weird “What?”  
“Well you have made it sufficiently clear that you are not a fan of the boy, why wanting to go there? Dean doesn´t need to deal with anything more right now” she said scolding him  
“Ellen, shut up. Help me do this” he said and she did. One hour and a half later he was being wheeled into the waiting room where Bobby and Dean were sitting. Bobby looked at him warily but Deas was surprised.  
“Dad? What are you doing here? He asked  
“How is Castiel do you know anything more?” he asked before anything else and used his good hand to touch his son´s leg reassuringly  
“They are making some tests… he hit his head pretty bad, he was lucky he was driving his car with all the airbags and shit otherwise he would be dead” he said  
“I am glad that horrible car was good for something” said John making Dean smirk with a side smile. “He will be fine Dean, he is a resilient son of a bitch… he managed living under a bridge by 16 and still getting into university…. He is resilient” said John  
“He… he told you about that?” Dean asked  
“Yeah” he said without volunteering any other information. He had been revisiting his conversation with Cass and felt a little guilty about the state of mind Castiel had been on when he left that afternoon.  
“Mr Winchester?” a nurse called and they all sat still  
“I am Dean Winchester” he said standing up  
“Castiel´s brother?” she asked  
“Husband” he corrected her and she made a face of disgust. Dean got angry and tightened his jaw containing himself  
“Any of you is direct family?” she asked  
“I am his husband” repeated Dean. She was going to make a harsh answer but before that John talked  
“Before you made the next comment, gay marriage is legal all over the 50 states and my other son is a lawyer… now, how is my son is law?” He said and make the nurse flinch and blush.  
“He is in room 50, as direct family you can go see him and the doctor will be over soon to tell you all about the tests, this way please” she said pinting Dean towards the door.  
“Go Dean, we will be there in a minute” said Ellen. 

Dean follow the asshole nurse and all of them stayed in the room giving them some time together.   
“You did a good thing there John” said Bobby  
“Well that woman was an ass” John said “Hospital waiting room is not the place to be opinionated about other´s way of life”  
“Yeah she was very insensitive, glad you put her in her place” said Ellen. And John felt proud and again worried.   
“We should go check on Dean” John said

They headed to the room and saw Castiel lying on the bed very pale but for purple bruises flourishing along the side of his head and neck. His head had some bandages and he was unconscious. Dean was sitting by his side, holding his hand and he had obviously been crying. John had never seen Dean cry except when Sam had gotten in a bike accident at 16 or when the old neighbour Missouri had passed away.  
Dean cleaned his face and tried to compose himself when his family entered the room. Behind them the doctor.  
“Hello, I take it that you are Mr. …..Dean Winchester?” the doctor said stopping to check the name in his papers  
“Yes” Dean said worried  
“Well you husband came in with a severe concussion and some brain swelling from the crash. He performed a serious of tests and we found nothing to worry too much. The only thing that worries me if the fact that he is still unconscious..”   
“Well you can stop worrying now” said Castiel interrupting the doctor  
“Welcome back Castiel, I am Doctor Morningstar. You had a car accident and you are at the hospital” the doctor explained “Your family is here” The doctor pointed towards Dean who was still holding his hand.  
“Hey Dean” said Cass looking at his worried frown “I hate to see you worried”  
“Hey darling, I am so glad you are awake” Dean kissed his hand.  
“Am I going to be alright?” asked Cass looking back at the doctor  
“Yes, you will be alright. I will let you go home tomorrow. You will need lots of rest and your family will care for you and in a couple of weeks you should be back to your normal self” said the doctor and Dean let a gulp of air he didn´t know he was holding.   
“Alright, guys who is staying with me tonight? Dean will like to stay here with Cass, he will need somebody to bring him over some clothes and necessities. Dean, please don´t worry about me, I will be fine I will see you both tomorrow when you come home” said John. Dean and Cass looked at him in shock, the others said their goodbyes and took John home.  
“Your father has been incredibly understanding” said Cass caressing Dean´s hand  
“You have no idea” said Dean kissing him softly  
“what do you mean?” asked Cass so Dean told him about what had happened with the nurse and Cass was without words. Half an hour later Bobby got Dean´s clothes and toiletries so he could spend the night at the hospital with Cass.  
Dean laid down next to his husband, holding him into his arms softly and kissed his cheek softly not wanting to hurt him in any way.  
“I love you Cass, I was so afraid today…” whispered Dean in the darkness of their hospital room  
“I am sorry babe, your dad had a bad day at the appointment, the doctor was quite negative because his recovery was slower than expected and pointed out he might not recover too much more. Your dad was angry and I was afraid … he said things, I said things… I told him about my parents… then suddenly John was terribly vulnerable and asked me If I was going to ask you to kick him out… the fact is that I would never make you choose between him and me. But I truly fell unwelcome in my own house… your dad has a strong presence and he hates me so much…”   
“If it came to this, I will find him a home with proper care. Between him and you, it is you, it had always been you, it will always be you Cass. I love you very much” said Dean holding to his husband trembling “try to sleep darling, I will be here with you”. Dean couldn´t close his eyes, his mind bubbled with the fear, sending his father away was a thought that trouble him deeply but his priority was his husband.  
By 10 am next day they arrived home to find John and Bobby sitting in their couch. Dean looked at them with his tired ayes and found understanding from both of them.  
“You look horrible Dean” said Bobby “Let me help you bring Cass up the stairs?” suggested Bobby  
“How are you feeling Castiel?” asked John and that made Cass look at him  
“Happy to be home John, thanks for asking. If you don´t mind guys I would rather lie down on the couch for a while” asked Cass  
“Sure babe” Dean helped Cass to the couch and then ran upstairs only to reappear in a minute bringing a fluffy blanket and some comfy pillows from their bed.   
“Can I get you something? A cup of tea maybe?” Dean asked attentive  
“I am good Dean, really stop worrying ok” Dean frowned and looked at him so Cass smiled a little “A tea with honey would be nice though” Dean smiled and headed to the kitchen.  
“He is going to be supper annoying because he was really worried yesterday, we all were” said John  
“I know … he just likes to take care of people” said Cass   
“He loves you very much” said John looking at Cass´s surprise “Don´t be so surprised, I am an old fuck but I have eyes. Living with you two… it is quite difficult not to see it” John said and then wen´t back to his tablet, where he was making some lettering with his left hand to improve fine movements.  
“Thanks for calling Dean and letting him know something was wrong, you might have just saved my life” said Cass  
“No problem Cass” said John without lifting his eyes from the tablet. Castiel was in awe, John had called him Cass!  
Four days later a bruised but healthier Cass was still roaming around the house. Dean and their family was taking turns to drive John to his appointments and he was to stay at home under the direction of resting a lot. He was bored so he did some cleaning around the house until Dean brought John back home. They had diner and then John asked to be helped to bed because he was tired.

“Are you alright dad?” asked Dean  
“Yeah, in fact I am feeling quite good but I think Cass and you need some alone time so I will just stay in bed maybe watch some Netflix in my tablet and you go out there and make your husband feel better alright?” said John “Your mom used to had that look in her eyes when she just wanted some cuddling and smooching”  
“Not that I am not happy about the change but… I don´t know what is happening here…” said Dean  
“ Listen I am not suddenly a big fan of gay love” said John making Dean tense “But.. you are my son, you are a good man and I might have lost that from my perspective for a while and that was wrong”  
“I … thanks dad” said Dean looking at him surprised “Cass … he is…”  
“He is a good man” John cut him “And you love him very much, you love him like I did your mom” John said now looking a little sad  
“Do you miss her?” asked Dean   
“Every single day” whispered John “I was an idiot to push her away… and I was even a bigger idiot to thing that I could just substitute her with Sarah. Serves me right” said John snorting but obviously hurt.  
“I am sorry about Sarah, but dad it was obvious she saw you like a sugar daddy and nothing else” said Dean “You were the only one who didn´t seem to realize”  
“Yeah … you only see what you want to see right?” John said exhausted “I guess this was an interesting wake up call”  
“Don´t be too harsh on yourself ok? It is too easy to see the flaws of the past decisions” said Dean  
“Go romance Cass a little and forget about this old man it is too late for me. See you tomorrow” said John and Dean nodded and left the room with an incredulous smile.  
“What?” asked Cass when he saw him step into the living room smiling and a little awestruck  
“I am under direct orders to romance you a little. My dad said you had a look like you needed cuddling and smooching so he made himself scarce” said Dean looking at Castiel´s surprise face.  
“Unbelievable. But he might be right….” said Cass approaching Dean softly and enveloping him with his arms. Dean kissed him softly and whispered “I love you babe” in his husband´s lips.  
“I love you too Dean” Cass said softly and buried his face on Dean´s shoulder “I am sorry I scared you like that”  
“I was freaked out. Everyone was very scared. Dad, Bobby, Ellen, mom, Sammy… they all were there at some point or another, they gave me strength. I don´t know what I would do if I lose you babe…” Dean´s voice broke a little and Cass hugged him tight and kissed his face, pepper kisses all over his stubble and lips.  
“I love you very much, I am not going anywhere” said Cass “Lay down with me please” And Dean did, he laid down on the sofa alongside Cass, covered himself with the blanket and enjoyed his husband´s warmth. They fell asleep in a minute.

Two days later he came back home from work to find Cass and his dad playing poker in the kitchen table. He did not know what to say… he was amazed about the change of attitude towards Cass his father had had after the accident.  
“Hey dad… you playing my husband for his money?” He asked jokingly  
“I wish… the bastard is good… his poker face is … I never know what he is playing for… he is cleaning my pockets son” said John.  
“Well done babe” said Dean kissing Cass´s lips briefly. Yes, he could do that in front of his dad now. It was still a little awkward but John was trying to play nice.  
“How was work?” asked Cass  
“Same old same old. Benny says hi” said Dean  
“We need to invite them over, it has been a while since we last saw them” said Cass  
“He and Alfie moved to their new house last weekend” said Dean while getting some beer  
“Oh! I thought we offered ourselves to help with the move?” said Cass “They didn’t say anything?”  
“Well I asked him the same and he said that, and I quote so I gave him the congratulations and told him we will stop by with a housewarming gift” and Dean smiled and got close to Cass “He told me to hold on the gift until the wedding” Cass jumped on his seat  
“He proposed? OMG!!!! This is so amazing! Ohhh I need to call Alfie to talk to him…” Cass said happily  
“How was it?” John asked interrupting the conversation for the first time. Dean and Cass looked at him “How was your wedding like?” he asked. They paled a little.  
“We got married in the Mayim Gardens, Charlie who is a pastor and also Dean´s friend officiated the ceremony, it was nice and small. Dean said beautiful bows and it was… it was perfect. We invited them over here where we prepared the back yard with tables and chairs for a nice dinner, there was some dancing and music. We have pictures if you ever wish to see” said Cass.  
“It was a wonderful night. We didn´t have much money so it was just 20 people, mom and Sammy with Jess, Benny, Cass´s best friend Gabriel…” said Dean  
“I am sorry I didn´t attend” said John putting his cards over “I missed so many things of your life Dean. For what is worth I am really sorry” He looked pained.  
“Hey dad… You were the only missing thing from my wedding, I always want you in my life. But listen, the only important thing is that we are here, talking now… right?” asked Dean  
“Yeah … I haven´t been very civil I am afraid. I do have some apologizing to do. I need a nap” He said ending the conversation.  
“Do you feel alright?” asked Cass  
“Just need a nap, I can do this, see you later boys” said John going to his bedroom. Once inside he sat on the bed and got his phone. His hands were still shaky when he was trying to do fine movements like dialling a phone number, that is why he had the voice activated commands “Call Mary”  
“Hello?” Mary answered after a few tones “Who is this?”  
“Hello Mary, it’s me, John” he said and he could feel Mary gasp on the other side “Don´t hang up please, just let me say something first” he said begging.  
“Alright, talk” said Mary with a defensive tone. John felt his chest tighten.  
“I Don´t blame you for hating me Mary, I do deserve this. Listen I just wanted to call you to tell you that… I know…” He wanted to say more but his eyes were full of water and his mouth was suddenly dry.  
“You know what John?” asked Mary softly  
“I know how much I messed up. I know I was stupid and self-centred, I know I was a bad father and a horrible husband. I deserve being alone Mary, I know I do. But realizing how much I missed of my kids’ lives… because I wasn´t capable of adapting to something different from what my parents had taught me… I am sorry. I know it doesn´t mean too much for you but…” John felt out of breath and shaky “I apologized to Dean and Cass and I needed to apologize to you too… sorry I need to take a nap. Sorry Mary…” He finished the call and felt like something was breaking inside and he wasn´t breathing and he managed to call for help “Dean!! Help!”  
His son and son in law entered the room immediately and Dean realized something was wrong, John was pale lying in bed, his face was covered in sweat, his eyes were teary and he was not breathing properly. His left arm hurt and he was holding it. “Dean, I think you dad is having a heart attack!” said Cass calling 911 immediately. Dean stayed with him telling him that everything was going to be ok.  
Soon they found themselves sitting in the waiting room of the hospital again, only this time Dean has Cass by his side and his dad on the ER. He had a heart attack, a mild one but still worrisome after his stroke.   
Sam appeared at the ER with Mary. Cass and Dean hugged them and explained the situation. Mary cried and cried. When they tried to calm her down she told them everything about the phone call.  
“Hey mom, this is not your fault alright?” said Sam “He is done this to himself” Sam said harshly  
“I know but… it hurts me to know he is in pain… at least when he was happy with that woman, I knew he was happy… It didn´t matter I wasn´t…. But he was…” Mary whispered.  
“Oh Mary, you still love him…” said Cass. It hadn´t been a question it was more of a realization.  
“Mom?” asked Dean quite surprised “Is that true? Do you still love dad?” he asked.  
“I know it is stupid but I do, he is the love of my life” she said. Dean kissed her head and hugged her lovingly. Cass held her hand reassuringly.  
“It is never too late” said Cass and both brothers looked at him with worry “Listen” Cass said defending himself “John has changed…”  
“C´mon Cass” said Sam dismissively.  
“Sam, Cass is right... Dad has changed since Cass´s accident” said Dean  
“He spends time with me, getting to know me, he has voluntarily made himself scarce so we can cuddle on the couch and watch a movie, and he asked about our wedding and apologized for not attending. He called Mary to apologize to her. Something has changed… I am not saying he is suddenly a saint. But you mom loves him, maybe there is still hope for them, they did spend some 20 amazing years together…” Cass said. Mary place her hand over Castiel´s in a thankful gesture.  
“He said he was sorry he had been a bad parent and a horrible husband… the fact is that he had been neither... not really. He had always loved you guys so much, he cared about the things you did, drove you Sam to all those state fairs, he took Dean to hockey every Saturday, he gave him the Impala and taught him how to fix it because it was a nice way to spend time together … yes, he had a midlife crisis and got an affair and then when we were trying to fix it, Dean came out to us… things got out of hand. I asked him to leave if he couldn´t accept you were gay. He left and then… soon he was dating Sarah…” Mary sat there in silence for a second and then added “John´s dad was a monster, he was abusive and hard, he used to hit him for every single little thing. He used the word faggot all the time, every time John failed to do something the way he wanted… he would say he was an useless faggot, I hated him so much for treating John like that!. After we married he came to our house for thanksgiving and we announced we were pregnant … he said he was happy his son was not as useless as he thought and he knew which hole to stick his dick on... in front of all our guests. Dean you need to understand that being raised like that… gay meant something terrible to him”  
“Fuck no wonder he was pissed about it… I don´t remember grandpa” said Dean  
“John never let his dad get close to you, not a single time. He tried a couple of times but he used to say he needed you safe away from him, he could not be trusted” Mary said.  
“Damm poor John” said Cass, everyone looked at him “What? That is no way to be raised alright? I know how it feels to be hated by your own parents … I don´t wish it upon anybody under no circumstances” said Cass and Dean held his hand this time.  
“Family of John Winchester?” asked a nurse “You can come see him, the doctor will be in soon”

All four of them entered the room to see a pale and tired John on the hospital bed. He looked defeated but when he saw them there, he smiled a little.  
“Hey you all” said John “What happened to me this time?”  
“You had a heart attack dad” said Dean “We called 911 and got you here”  
“Hospitals again… once you start the end comes soon. Mary what is the name of that cousin of yours that did the paperwork for the house?” asked John  
“Michael? What do you need a lawyer for now?” she asked a little lost  
“I think it is time to put my affairs in order…” he said and a silence formed in the room.  
“Don´t be silly John, you are not going anywhere and you and I still have a pending conversation… you cannot just call after so long and just suddenly tell me you need a nap and hand up” she said sitting by his side, she carefully stroke his hair.   
“I was having a heart attack woman … have some mercy” John said looking at her adorably, then he closed his eyes and sighted.  
“Ok. You guys have work tomorrow, Cass needs rest from the accident, so you all go back home, I will stay tonight” said Mary ordering them all around  
“mom I can ask for some days…” said Dean  
“no no do as you mother say, see you tomorrow alright?” said Mary and the three man said their goodbyes and went home.  
“Why are you doing this Mary?” asked John looking as his ex-wife with sad eyes.  
“It might have something to do with my vows or something…said Mary” dismissing him.  
“I promise to show you, for the rest of my life, how much I love you. I will always be your friend, your confidant, I will make your path straight, I promise to make you laugh, I promise to hold your hand through the good times and through the bad times. And I promise that when we are old and gray, we will look back on our lives together and have no regrets” said John by heart  
“You remember that?” Asked Mary quite shocked  
“Of course I do….” Said John “I trashed my vows… I really meant them on our wedding day and for many years and then… I don´t know what happened and I…” he got quiet and looked away from Mary.  
“I promise to encourage you, because there is no me if there is no you. I promise to nurture your dreams because through them your soul shines. I promise to help shoulder our challenges, for there is nothing we cannot face if we stand together. I promise to be your partner in all things, and create together a loving family. One lifetime with you could never be enough” Mary recited.  
“You still remember…” said John on a whisper   
“I still believe in them” said Mary and that made John look at her in confusion.  
“I failed in every one of the things I promised. I cheated on you, left you alone to deal with everything, I gave my back to our family, to our kids …” said John  
“You encouraged me to keep on studying so I could fulfil my dreams and you had always been a wonderful dad for the kids, you and I went through moments of loss, when we were low on money, when Sam needed that surgery and we had no way to pay for it… how many nights you held me crying… eh? For 20 years you have been my best friend, you have been my rock” she said  
“And then, I threw it all away…” John whispered.  
“What happened that night?... I keep wondering why? Why did you sleep with that woman in the first place?” she asked. After 5 years that was the unanswered question  
“I didn´t. I had issued with dad again. Do you remember I sold all his possessions, house included? He owed a lot of money, the house and the cars and the horses paid for most of it. I felt horrible, I hated that after so many years my dad was still making me feel bad and I drank myself to unconsciousness. When I woke up I was in bed with that woman, she said we had sex, I dind´t know what to do… I didn´t remember anything. It tuned out that later I found up she was trying to conn me, I never had sex with her, it was too late by then…”  
“You came back home, you had lipstick on your shirt and you smelled like perfume… “Mary reminded him “Why didn´t you tell me any of this?”  
“I couldn´t, I didn´t know how…That was not the man you have married Mary, not anymore. I was ashamed and worried and confused so I drank a lot. That only made things worse and I kept remembering all those things my father used to say about me and it was as if all that was happening confirmed that they were true… they had always been true…” said John  
“But you tried to fix it… at least in the beginning” she said  
“Because I love you” said John and Mary noted he had used the present tense “When Dean came out to us… I lost my mind and you kicked me out” John said  
“and Sarah?” asked Mary  
“After all that… I went to find a lawyer and filed for divorce. There is no way that man I was at the time was worth being near you or the boys, I needed to set you free give you a chance to find someone to grow old with that deserved you. I rented a little crappy apartment and tried to get myself together. No booze, no crazy shit. Sarah lived in the same apartment building, she kept coming by to talk and one night of weakness I took her to bed. We had been together since. I knew she liked the money more than anything but it still hurt that after two years she didn´t hesitate to leave me behind dying at a hospital” said John  
“I still wonder what you guys had in common?” asked Mary  
“Nothing, she was 25 years younger than me. She hated my music, she thought I dressed too serious, she wanted us to get matching tattoos!! But she was pretty and young, and if I was not going to spend my time with the love of my life, at least that young girl …she was a little boost to my ego… I guess” John confessed feeling ashamed of his weakness  
“Did you love her?” she asked  
“No. I mean I cared for her? Yes sure but love? No. I fell in love with you Mary, we married and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you… I know I ruined it but I never stopped loving you. Nobody else.” he said  
“And what are you going to do from now on?” she asked  
“Well I plan of staying in my kids lives, I finally payed all my dad´s debts a while ago. I went to AA and also therapy to help with my dad-issues” John confessed  
“You went to therapy?” Mary asked surprised “You that used to think therapy was all a mumbo jumbo”  
“Well I was wrong. I should still go but I was ashamed to tell Dean and Cass that I was attending therapy… so I have been calling my therapist for the sessions… I know it is stupid but I hate that my kids can see me as weak” said John  
“They will see you as human, like all of us. If you need to go because it helps, do it John, don´t let pride take you back” said Mary “I would like you to be alright?”  
“Thanks, you are a sweetheart. I am sorry I was not the man I promised to be”  
“I still like the man you are John, but it has been enough about the past. Think about the future, rest some and maybe you will be able to go home tomorrow”   
“I have no home.. I am staying with Dean and Cass interrupting their lives and making the miserable” said John “they have been incredibly great… Cass takes good care of Dean”  
“Yeah he does, he loves him very much” she said  
“Yeah, he does. He is a nice guy I might like him” said john  
“Well he might like you too, he told me that much” said Mary “You can always come home with me….” She said nonchalantly and John looked at her as if she had grown a third arm “I know I surprised you there, listen think about it. You said you love me, I still love the man who used to be my husband. We have spent time apart and both have changed in the process, if you wished to get to know the real Mary and let me get to know the real John, maybe we could like each other at least to be friends, if not something else” Mary said  
“I can´t believe you would like to have me around Mary… after everything I did…” said John  
“You need to stop thinking like that, stop thinking you don´t deserve good things, John your dad did horrible things to you and that leaves a scar. If you are willing to work on this, we may as well give it a try at working on us” she said kissing his temple softly. John left a sight escape his lips and closed his eyes focusing on Mary´s touch. He was hallucinating, there was no way this was real. He fell asleep.  
Two days later John was released to Mary´s care, his sons freaked out a little when John and Mary told them he was moving back to the family home but after some incredulity and hundreds of questions, they helped John with his things to the house and let them be.  
CAS & DEAN  
Their home was their home again. Although the final days with John had been better, Cass still felt tense all the time around him. Dean also felt relaxed.  
“I need to thank you for what you have done for me” said Dean and Cass looked at him with surprise  
“What?” he asked  
“For being the most patient husband in the universe, putting up with my dad and his bad manners, his anger… you got to him somehow… I feel like all this improvement was because of you” Dean said smiling to his perplex husband  
“Shut up, I did nothing. Your dad came around and that is wonderful. Being sick makes people get better perspective. And I love you Dean, I love you so much, I would do anything for you but I have to confess that before my accident I was touching bottom…” he said sad  
“Hey, I know. I am grateful I didn´t have to take my dad to a retirement home but if if had come to this, I would always chose you babe, I love you so much, There is nothing more important than you” Dean kissed Cass lovingly and Cass just let himself drift in his arms.  
“Take me to bed babe”


End file.
